There you go
1. On your last trip to Colombia you smuggled back coffee, not cocain.
2. Jaun Valdez sends you a Christmas card
3. You have not stood still since that time you got stoned in college. And you enjoyed all three seconds of it
4. You move and the Starbucks in your old neighborhood closes down after only a week.
5. You carry pictures of your coffee pot and coffee mug with you in your wallet.
6. You walk down the street and get a speeding ticket
7. You name your children Jaun, Valdez, Macchiatto, Latte and Joe
8. When the line at Starbucks is more than three deep; you suffer withdrawl.
9. You can only watch t.v. in fast-forward mode.
10. You chanel surf and you don't own a remote.